she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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