Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
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In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
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I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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