OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
