You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize
