I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
