Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
