Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
