Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
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