thus making me awesome and them whores
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
