Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
