Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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