I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
only you would photoshop your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize