I think im going to throw up on grandma
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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