The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
