she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
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he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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