overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We're too hungover to prance.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
