Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
my poor anus
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
