I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
