So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
