doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
