Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
