It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
