Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
