Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
