Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Randomize
