Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
