Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
third nipple confirmed
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
