So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
