Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
My underwear smells like fireworks.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize