I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
