Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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