How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
