..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize