i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
