Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
