It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
