**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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