Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
