Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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