I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
