Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Randomize
