i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
