Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
