ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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