I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
