that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
