dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
