I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize