just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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