How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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