the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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