Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
