is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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