I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
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this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
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I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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