There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
