wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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