So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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