Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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