I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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