Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
