Betty ford says i'm here all night
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
