? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
