Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
