the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Come share oat with me in your robe
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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