why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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