I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
