Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
