i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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