He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
