Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
